Now and again, I like playing with constrained writing – Oulipo, that kind of thing. So, a week or so back, I went on facebook and asked for themes and a univocal vowel. Various suggestions appeared, the trickiest of which was “Jessica Jones vs Deadpool, and A”. So, no ‘pool’ for a start… Anyhow, after some tussling with vocabulary and shoe-horning into shape, here’s my attempt (kind of includes spoilers if you haven’t the relevant film/series):
JJ vs Smartass
JJ sat at bar, black garb, sans pals.
Lycra-clad maskman parks ass hard by, asks,
“Fancy a dram?”
“Jack D. Thanks.”
Man farts, “Haha, that’s a gas.”
JJ says nada.
“Bad day, lady?”
JJ taps glass. Barstaff add Jack.
“Mask? Lycra? What’s all that? Wakandan?”
“Nah, scars.”
“Why?”
“Had fatal drama, ghastly malady, bad way.”
“Anthrax?”
“Nah, C. Anyway, Ajax chap (frankly a twat) has dank lab, scams marks, wants army cash, adapts vassals as war-thralls – dark X-Man crap.”
“Harsh.”
“Yarp.”
“And?”
“Fast. Harm can’t last. Small arms, katanas hack-slash-stab.”
“Always smartcracks?”
“Backatcha, madam – what’s gal’s yarn? Fly? Blast gamma-rays?”
“Sass. Sarcasm. And crazy brawn; can smash walls an’ that, fall far and land.”
“Why sad?”
“Asshat. Psych-traps by chat. Plays as cat bats a baby rat.”
“Bastard. Want a hand?”
“Nah, asshat’s past. Larynx-snap. Ajax?”
“Scalp blam-blam-splat.”
Palms clap.
“Barman!”
Dave Hubble 